I myself have been a victim for almost three years. I am not sure how to start or what to tell you but there are certain things which I would like to share and tell you how to survive through all this. It took me almost three years to understand what was happening to me and how to get out of it.

First of all I would like say that when you start living with someone who is abusive towards you, he will take away all your self-esteem and he will start torturing you in every possible way he is capable of (emotionally, verbally, physically or sexually). He takes a piece of you everyday without you being aware about what's happening to you or how you feel. You are being killed everyday bit by bit.

We as victims start believing them that they have every right to do this as we deserve all this and we are responsible for pushing them to this extent. Sometimes something from inside tells us that this is not right and its wrong .We know that our instincts knock on us by saying that we should get out of this and its no way to live a life by being tortured by someone in every possible way.

But when we ask ourselves where to go, how to survive and how to get out of this then we start feeling so helpless that we start thinking and believing that there won't be even a small place on this earth which will provide us shelter or protection. Its always that first step or first person from whom to ask for help, which seems so hard and far away that we get so scared that no one will help us or we won't be able to survive this. Sometimes that one step or one call looks so hard and fear of him taking over us all over again and hurting us in some other way stops us from getting out of the situation.

But please trust yourself that when you can survive through all the abuse with so much strength and courage then nothing or no one can stop or takeover you when you walk out of that door. Because there are always people who understand what it's like to go through all this and we ourselves have so much strength and courage that we are so unaware of by which we can make a difference in our lives. All we have to do is take charge of it and say NO, we won't let this go on by taking over us and destroying the rest of our life.

So please listen to your heart, your guts because it always tells you that this is not right. You don't have to live like this, you can change your life rather than living like this. And when it tells you that you can't take this anymore by dying every day piece by piece and your only survival is by getting out of it then please listen to that voice. Because the first step is the hardest and once we take that, then all our strength, dignity and self respect by which we had survived all the abuse comes back and takes over us and leads us to the right path with much better life that we deserve.

Also in the end I would like say that our lives are our responsibility and we as women should not let anyone take away our happiness or give them the right to hurt us. Because we are responsible for making others learn how to behave or act with us. So our strength comes from within us and believing in that we deserve better will lead us to take charge of our life and allowing ourselves to live the way we want to.